are pears flammable
after 2 hours of trying to set alight to a pear i can condclude they are not flammable
mum: whats that smell
me: burning pears
me: i tried to set a pear on fire
[science clapping] well done friend
you forgot your data table:
don’t say you’re a writer if you just write fanfiction for your entertainment. you’re only a writer if you kill a bear with a typewriter to appease the spirit of hemingway and slather yourself in ink in tribute to shakespeare, the one true over-penis of literature.
Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns
Jim sends Spock crude sexual drawings for shits and giggles in their free time (or maybe during a really boring conference or something)
Spock sends back altered anatomically correct versions.
"Jim, that position is not physically possible."
"Jim, my penis is not that large."
"Jim, I do not wear that particular expression during intercourse. I never wear that particular expression."
Eventually, just arrows pointing to various errors labelled “No, Jim.” “JIM, NO.”
Anonymous asked: What is your ultimate fantasy?